Sunday, January 31, 2010

'Ears to ya!.....or how I thought I was at Disneyworld for a minute...


One thing that has now been fully revealed to the world, since I'm now bald, is that my ears stick out somewhat. Ok, maybe more than "somewhat" but not like my mom's ears. That's not being mean, it is just the truth. Plus, I had to get my ears from somebody, didn't I?

They stick out enough that when I was little and she would give me a bath and pull my hair up in the shampoo suds that I was a dead ringer for Dopey. Yes, that Dopey, of the seven dwarves, Dopey.

She even had (still has) this old plastic bath toy of Dopey that used to sit on the tub on a rubber suction cup. I loved it.

So, I'm getting in the shower at the hospital, the warming light is on in the bathroom and when I move a little bit in one direction, there appears this shadow. Of Dopey.

"What the hell?" I'm thinking.....and then realize that the shadow is of MY head. NOT Dopey!

I think it might be time for me to start on a serious search for a wig!

I'm sorry I've been absent from blogland for so long. It has been a mental and physical thing for me.

Part of me has been bouncing around in a mental pinball machine. What do I do now? How do I act? How am I supposed to "be"?

I'm certainly not the same person who many of you saw in the hospital before...like Mark McGuire, I was hepped up on steroids. Manic. Driven. In denial. Feeling like there wasn't anything I couldn't do or accomplish. "Leukemia" seemed to be just a word, not a disease. I didn't feel bad, I didn't feel "sick". I actually felt better than I had in YEARS. Thanks, steroids.

Coming off those, as you've read, was HORRIBLE.

So I guess I'm now in phase "two" of the "new normal".

Learning to cope.

Love,
Penny






4 comments:

  1. Great post, Mom! See you this afternoon! Love you!!!

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  2. Ahhhhhh, Penny is back!!! Although your family did a great sub job, it's not the same. Love your words. . . . . and you.

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  3. Me loves "Dopey" most of all the dwarves.. snicker. Girl, we are here for you....whenever that is!!! I believe I speak for all the people that love you when I say, we totally understand there are days/weeks/months that you will not be the Pinball Wizard that we all know you to be... and that's alright. One day the Wizard will return, and stay longer and longer than the last. I hope you will feel like hopping over to the PFATT blog, as "your tree" is taking shape. I even wrote a little 'somethin', somethin' about you!! Love you Mzzz. Penny!

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  4. Susan Carter DickeyFebruary 1, 2010 at 8:43 PM

    Amen to that last post. I, too, have the ears issue. When I look at my baby pictures, I like to think that my head has grown into my ears--but NAAAH! If I ever were to consider plastic surgery, it would be an ear tuck.

    ReplyDelete

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