"The earth says hello!"....
Just a quick update since i have a lot i want to write but am about to start second day of meds so will come back later and add a story or just more jibber jabber about what's happening.
Great night, even better morning. I woke up and realized that I can treat this like my "hotel" wake up experiences that I have while going to art shows. Completely different from my home morning routine. Room service coffee, easy wake up experience while stretched out in the bed, breakfast, bath, and then on with my day. It was a very nice revelation and even better to put into action! Oh, and even better, I started reading a book that Katie brought me, The Bounce Back Book by Nancy Salmansohn. It has been a great, quick read and the graphics are clean and modern. The advice is great, not overwhelming and i promise, there is something in there for each and every one of you. Put it on your Christmas list or buy it for yourself for Christmas. You won't regret it.
Adding to the excitement of this experience is that Jonathan happened to walk in with my Safeguard soap and got to participate in the shower process...if this is TMI (too much information), well, sorry. (He scrubbed my back, ok? ) It felt nice to feel "normal" again. Not something I felt a week ago today.
I think I'll sign out with some of the strangest lyrics in musical history....
Glibby globby gloopy, nibby nobby noopy, la la la lo lo..... (From the song, "Good Morning Starshine", from the play HAIR.)
Hope you enjoy the music....it has been one of my all time favorite songs since I first heard it. Just the opening of the song makes me want to put my arms in the air and wave them around, and that, my friends, is the sign of a GOOD SONG. Even if you don't like this one, I'm sure you've got your own songs that make you feel that way. If you do, play one for yourself today!
Love to all,
Penny
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
And the first day is done!
Brenda, my chemo nurse just left.....we are DONE with the first day. Other than feeling stuff flowing through my body, nothing yet.
I told her that this morning I woke up with images of "having chemo" being something like having those bugs in the Orkin commercials coming into my room and saying "Here lady, you need to drink this". It was nothing like that at all. Just another pump, a few more bags and a warm brown face telling me what was going in as she pushed it through the pump.
Piece of cake. But check with me next week...I might be cussin' the hell out of that pump, er, tree o' bags.
My Christmas Tree of Life.
Get your shopping done, y'all. Look what my procrastination has gotten me.
Kisses and hugs to all!
Love,
Penny
Random Musings....or, Good Mornin', Y'all!
Ok, quick shout out to the makers of Atarax. Can I say M I R A C L E drug for helping you sleep? After feeling like I was caught up in a mental swirling dervish, I got a dose and BOOM, off to la la land I went. So, well rested and ready to start the day.
My chemo nurse, Brenda, came by to explain what will be happening and now I'm just rarin' to go. A week from now, if I get on and say stuff like "F*(* this S^#$", then you'll know I've truly turned the color of Elphaba.
So, on the "F&8k this s^$t" stuff. It may come out witihout little euphemistic ampersands and stars. If that offends you then do like I used to tell my young readers. "If you come to a person's name you can't pronounce, don't waste your time trying to sound it out...just make up a name that sorta sounds like it looks and use that name the whole time you read. Mrs. Schlingodiginnigozzle will still be doing the same things whether you call her Mrs Snow or Mrs. Sligozzle. So, just make up a word that sounds better to you if you are offended, ok. But, please. Don't come down hard on me about it or I might just block you from making a comment.
Yeah, I'm feeling my oats this morning!
Hold on, Dr. House just walked in..... Don't get me wrong, he is not the irascible, gruff Dr. House. Brian is wonderful and has done such a wonderful job of taking care of my mother and me. A more caring and understanding man you will not meet.
Ok, back at it....
People have asked, "Have you thought about going to UAB"?, the huge medical school/teaching university about sixty miles up the road. The answer is no, I never gave it a thought. Last night that was confirmed by Dr. Dubay, one of my oncologists.
"Knockity, knock, knock, knock"
A different sound than the usual nurse or doctor knock. My family had just left so who could it be?
Dr. Dubay walked in and people, I don't really know this man, but he was sending out some GOOD VIBES.... it was in his demeanor, his face, his voice. Maybe he was just as excited to be getting on with this as I, but I was FEELING it, baby.
He explained some things to me (this chemo will be going on for two years....so if y'all get weary thinking about that, I understand)...and asked me if I lived here in town, because if not I might want to think of moving here.
I wanted to shout out.."Hells yeah" because I was born right here in this hospital and have lived within a ten minute drive of it my entire life, my family's, as well. I had known that I couldn't have my family worry about me AND have to worry about driving to see me in bits and pieces.
I told him this and he replied "Well, I WAS the leukemia doctor at UAB and now I am here." Had this happened three years ago I might have been driving to UAB to see him.
So you see, I am where I'm supposed to be.
Love to you all,
Penny
My chemo nurse, Brenda, came by to explain what will be happening and now I'm just rarin' to go. A week from now, if I get on and say stuff like "F*(* this S^#$", then you'll know I've truly turned the color of Elphaba.
So, on the "F&8k this s^$t" stuff. It may come out witihout little euphemistic ampersands and stars. If that offends you then do like I used to tell my young readers. "If you come to a person's name you can't pronounce, don't waste your time trying to sound it out...just make up a name that sorta sounds like it looks and use that name the whole time you read. Mrs. Schlingodiginnigozzle will still be doing the same things whether you call her Mrs Snow or Mrs. Sligozzle. So, just make up a word that sounds better to you if you are offended, ok. But, please. Don't come down hard on me about it or I might just block you from making a comment.
Yeah, I'm feeling my oats this morning!
Hold on, Dr. House just walked in..... Don't get me wrong, he is not the irascible, gruff Dr. House. Brian is wonderful and has done such a wonderful job of taking care of my mother and me. A more caring and understanding man you will not meet.
Ok, back at it....
People have asked, "Have you thought about going to UAB"?, the huge medical school/teaching university about sixty miles up the road. The answer is no, I never gave it a thought. Last night that was confirmed by Dr. Dubay, one of my oncologists.
"Knockity, knock, knock, knock"
A different sound than the usual nurse or doctor knock. My family had just left so who could it be?
Dr. Dubay walked in and people, I don't really know this man, but he was sending out some GOOD VIBES.... it was in his demeanor, his face, his voice. Maybe he was just as excited to be getting on with this as I, but I was FEELING it, baby.
He explained some things to me (this chemo will be going on for two years....so if y'all get weary thinking about that, I understand)...and asked me if I lived here in town, because if not I might want to think of moving here.
I wanted to shout out.."Hells yeah" because I was born right here in this hospital and have lived within a ten minute drive of it my entire life, my family's, as well. I had known that I couldn't have my family worry about me AND have to worry about driving to see me in bits and pieces.
I told him this and he replied "Well, I WAS the leukemia doctor at UAB and now I am here." Had this happened three years ago I might have been driving to UAB to see him.
So you see, I am where I'm supposed to be.
Love to you all,
Penny
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
"I couldn't sleep at all last night" or here's my version of A Christmas Carol.
It is 11:00 p.m. I have had on my glamour mask for three hours and it is not working. My mind is spinning faster than that roundy-round sport that takes place up Talladega way. There is no way Jeff Gordon (or whomever is the current leader) to have more points than me.
I have already thought of at least 20 posts I'd like to make, if not more. Most of them are not about what is going on at the moment but are related. (Be it known that I can "chase a rabbit" in a conversation with the best of them but I'll try not to do it. For those of you who don't understand that term, it simply means "getting off track.")
So, on to my on personal version of "A Christmas Carol", with all apolo9gies to Charles Dickens.
Scrooge would have been an apt name for me the past several weeks. My best Christmas sentiment was truly "Bah, humbug".However, all that changed today.
Instead of three ghosts, I had three angels. And each of them represented all three of Scrooge's visitors, the past, the present, the future within themselves. Most importantly, these women are the epitome of strength and courage, humor, and good cheer. They came not wearing swirling robes or wreaths of holly. They came in tennis shoes and workout clothes. Strong women, I tell you, STRONG WOMEN.
My first visitor, the angel of "Christmas past" was Dana Taylor. I have known her since Jr. High and our birthdays are a day apart, though she is actually a year older. Dana had a twin sister, Deb, who died two years ago (Dana, forgive me for not fact checking the exact date.) Deb's death, was a tragedy that was just sort of the quintessential "hell on wheels" chain reaction of events, with the cause of death being laryngeal cancer.
But this wasn't the first time Dana had faed this sort of challenge. While we were in Jr. High her father, Ryan deGraffenried, died in an airplane crash while running for governer of Alabama. We were all stunned. We were 13 and 14 and NOTHING like this had ever touched or lives. We watched as Margaret Nell, her mother, gathered the children and pulled them together into a tight, strong family unit. Dana and Deb were watched over by their older brother, Ryan, Jr, who grew into an influential lawyer who would eventually make a career in politics.
Now down to Ryan and Dana, their mother having died a few years back, it was time to move on. But that was not to be the case. Within months of Deb's death, Ryan suddenly died while attending a conference out of town. I probably would have crawled back into a bed and not come out. Not Dana. She went back to work, painted rooms in her house to relieve the stress and now is as down to earth and the same Dana as before all this happened. Only she is stronger. I see it, I feel it. And she offfered that strength to me today. I will accept. I love you, Dana.
My next angel, Nanci Stewart, appeared a little later in the afternoon. While her appearance is slightly out of order with the story, I view her as the "angel of Chrsitmas future" even though she has a past with cancer. Twenty years ago Nanci experienced what i did las week. She got slapped in the face with the "C" word, totally out of the blue. Her prognosis was six months but she proved them WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Nanci is the epitome of "good attitude" and probably one of the sweetest people in the whole world. Her message was laughter and to learn that once you join the "C" club it is your responsibility to "pay it forward" by helping new club members cope with what they are most afraid of in the world. I look forward to being able to do that, Nanci. For the next twenty years, she and my husband played in a band together that was one of the highlights of their lives, and mine. You are the best. I love you, Nanci.
My last visitor was Beth Roberts. We have daughters the same age. Beth started teaching at Verner during the time i was sp.reading my wings with professional ideas and actions. All were not pleased. Beth was a kindred spirit. Today she shared a story I had not heard before. New to the school, the faculty, a new husand (she had been widowed when her oldest was three, her second child in the womb), she had , walked into my library where I was telling a story using an apron from which I was throwiing glitter or oatmeal (depending on the part in the story "The Lad and the North Wind") and realized she had reached a turning point in her life. That her circumstances, as bad as they had been, had lead her to meet people she would have never met. Ten years later she would lead me to my current career path by a simple sentence..."I bet you could make these". Another ten years later her strength would be challenged again as her mother faced cancer and died before her granddaughter's wedding. I couldn't have made it through that with the grace she did. She had her own scare with cancer, a divorce and is stronger than i've ever seen her. I love you, Beth.
What do you say to these women who have influnced your life in such profound ways, who offer to help even when you haven't been there for them in some of their down times. I don't deserve you? That is what I feel. Yet they come for me, to lift me up, hold me, love me, and make me laugh. I will love them forever.
If you have angels like these in your life, let them know how much you appreciate them.
These are not my only angels and you will get to know them all before it is over.
Ahhh, my eyes are droopy, my room needs to be cooled down and maybe my head won't spin for blogging ideas. Plus, a dose of Atarax might just do the trick.
Take care, my lovely friends and family.
I love you all.
Penny
Please forgive my typos.
.
I have already thought of at least 20 posts I'd like to make, if not more. Most of them are not about what is going on at the moment but are related. (Be it known that I can "chase a rabbit" in a conversation with the best of them but I'll try not to do it. For those of you who don't understand that term, it simply means "getting off track.")
So, on to my on personal version of "A Christmas Carol", with all apolo9gies to Charles Dickens.
Scrooge would have been an apt name for me the past several weeks. My best Christmas sentiment was truly "Bah, humbug".However, all that changed today.
Instead of three ghosts, I had three angels. And each of them represented all three of Scrooge's visitors, the past, the present, the future within themselves. Most importantly, these women are the epitome of strength and courage, humor, and good cheer. They came not wearing swirling robes or wreaths of holly. They came in tennis shoes and workout clothes. Strong women, I tell you, STRONG WOMEN.
My first visitor, the angel of "Christmas past" was Dana Taylor. I have known her since Jr. High and our birthdays are a day apart, though she is actually a year older. Dana had a twin sister, Deb, who died two years ago (Dana, forgive me for not fact checking the exact date.) Deb's death, was a tragedy that was just sort of the quintessential "hell on wheels" chain reaction of events, with the cause of death being laryngeal cancer.
But this wasn't the first time Dana had faed this sort of challenge. While we were in Jr. High her father, Ryan deGraffenried, died in an airplane crash while running for governer of Alabama. We were all stunned. We were 13 and 14 and NOTHING like this had ever touched or lives. We watched as Margaret Nell, her mother, gathered the children and pulled them together into a tight, strong family unit. Dana and Deb were watched over by their older brother, Ryan, Jr, who grew into an influential lawyer who would eventually make a career in politics.
Now down to Ryan and Dana, their mother having died a few years back, it was time to move on. But that was not to be the case. Within months of Deb's death, Ryan suddenly died while attending a conference out of town. I probably would have crawled back into a bed and not come out. Not Dana. She went back to work, painted rooms in her house to relieve the stress and now is as down to earth and the same Dana as before all this happened. Only she is stronger. I see it, I feel it. And she offfered that strength to me today. I will accept. I love you, Dana.
My next angel, Nanci Stewart, appeared a little later in the afternoon. While her appearance is slightly out of order with the story, I view her as the "angel of Chrsitmas future" even though she has a past with cancer. Twenty years ago Nanci experienced what i did las week. She got slapped in the face with the "C" word, totally out of the blue. Her prognosis was six months but she proved them WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Nanci is the epitome of "good attitude" and probably one of the sweetest people in the whole world. Her message was laughter and to learn that once you join the "C" club it is your responsibility to "pay it forward" by helping new club members cope with what they are most afraid of in the world. I look forward to being able to do that, Nanci. For the next twenty years, she and my husband played in a band together that was one of the highlights of their lives, and mine. You are the best. I love you, Nanci.
My last visitor was Beth Roberts. We have daughters the same age. Beth started teaching at Verner during the time i was sp.reading my wings with professional ideas and actions. All were not pleased. Beth was a kindred spirit. Today she shared a story I had not heard before. New to the school, the faculty, a new husand (she had been widowed when her oldest was three, her second child in the womb), she had , walked into my library where I was telling a story using an apron from which I was throwiing glitter or oatmeal (depending on the part in the story "The Lad and the North Wind") and realized she had reached a turning point in her life. That her circumstances, as bad as they had been, had lead her to meet people she would have never met. Ten years later she would lead me to my current career path by a simple sentence..."I bet you could make these". Another ten years later her strength would be challenged again as her mother faced cancer and died before her granddaughter's wedding. I couldn't have made it through that with the grace she did. She had her own scare with cancer, a divorce and is stronger than i've ever seen her. I love you, Beth.
What do you say to these women who have influnced your life in such profound ways, who offer to help even when you haven't been there for them in some of their down times. I don't deserve you? That is what I feel. Yet they come for me, to lift me up, hold me, love me, and make me laugh. I will love them forever.
If you have angels like these in your life, let them know how much you appreciate them.
These are not my only angels and you will get to know them all before it is over.
Ahhh, my eyes are droopy, my room needs to be cooled down and maybe my head won't spin for blogging ideas. Plus, a dose of Atarax might just do the trick.
Take care, my lovely friends and family.
I love you all.
Penny
Please forgive my typos.
.
Chemo starts tomorrow!
Like Dad mentioned, Chemo starts tomorrow at 9:00 am! Finally we are getting ready to kick "C" to the CURB! Mom was is great spirits today with a few visitors to keep her laughing.
We gave her some new purple Gillian O'Malley "lounge pants" that are INCREDIBLY soft. We will have to do a little doctoring to the length because we all know Mom is not to blessed in the height department... Some call her short-I call her "fun sized"!
Wish I had more to update-tomorrow is a new day.
More Delay
Just found out from nurse that chemo is postponed for today, but will begin at 9:00 AM Thursday, unless we have further complications. Penny's been downstairs for tests for the last 2 1/2 hours. Oops...she just got back!
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